Kurotalia Pt. 5

*THE (RONALD) STORY SO FAR!!*

Ronald has woken up in America's house, with England visiting him, oblivious to the fact that this isn't really America. In his attempts to be polite, Ronald has only gotten himself stuck with England!! Although Ronald has no idea, I'm beginning to suspect Alan and Eric have something to do with this...


*NOW*


*It's been 2 hours... England and Ronald are now watching TV*


England: Aww man, America, It's so nice that me and you can be friends again ^__^

Ronald: Yeah, it really is... Say, it's getting pretty late now, isn't it?

England: *Checks watch* Hm? It's only 5 in the afternoon

Ronald: Haha...Really? Wow...we've done so much it just seems like AGES, you know? Haha...

England: Yeah, it really does~ ...HEY!

Ronald: What?!

England: Wanna watch a scary movie? I'll make some more tea!

Ronald: Uh, I don't really think-

England: Oh come on, it'll be cool! It's about these guys that go around and do you know what they do?

Ronald:...What...?

England: *Scary Face* COLLECT SOULLLLSSSS!! MWAHAHAHA!!!

Ronald: *Intrigued* Really? What's it called?

England:...You're not terrified? ...Oh right, it's called...uhh... 'Daily life of a Death God'

Ronald: And that's meant to be scary how? <<<Can't believe the stupid name.

England: Because! 'Death' sounds like a scary film!

Ronald: I know a guy who says that all the time...

England: What?

Ronald: Nothing. OK, so let's watc-

Tony: Hey. Can I watch too?

Ronald: AAARGH!! WTF IS THAT?!?!

Tony: *Poking Ronald* Hey America, what's wrong?

Ronald: *Shaking in fear* N...N....Noth....ARGH!

England: Hey, calm down America, that's just Tony! Hi Tony!

Tony: Go to hell you fuzzy-browed bastard.

England: Ahaha...Still so close~

Tony: So can I watch or not?

Ronald: (Jesus Christ... I better keep this thing sweet and act like America...) HAHA! Sure you can Tony! Just take a seat! AHAHA!! (Help me...) *Tony sits down*

England: OK! I have some tea! Let's watch the film!! *Presses play and sits down. The film comes on.* Oh boy, this is gonna be fun!!


'Daily Life of a Death God'


Voiceover (Female btw): Welcome, welcome! Today, we will be seeing the daily life of a Death God!!


*William pops up on screen. He looks extremely embarrassed and angry*


Voiceover: Ladies and gentlemen, this is William T. Spears! He is from the London Division of the Shinigami Dispatch association! He has agreed to let us see a day in his life!!

William: Not so much agreed as was bribed... *adjusts glasses*


[Ronald: OMG!! This is hilarious! I am SO gonna mock him when I get back XD

England: Shut up! I'm trying to watch this!!]


Voiceover: William's typical day begins with him waking up at 6am, having a shower and getting dressed, before going to find out what the work for today is~


*Shot of William getting out of bed in his pyjamas*


William: *Glaring at camera* HEY! I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU NOT TO FILM THIS PART, YOU F*CKING Wnk#R*!!!!

Voiceover: As you can see, he is very grouchy in the morning~


*Screen fades to black then a shot of William leaving his room begins*


Voiceover: After he has gotten ready and freshened up (as well as putting a tub of wax on his hair...), William goes to see what the day's work is before he has breakfast...


[*CRACKLE CRACKLE*

Eric's Voice: Hey...is this thing working? Hey! Helloooo?

Alan's Voice: You need to press this button here...

Eric's Voice: This one?

Alan's Voice: Yeah...

Eric's Voice: OK!


*Click*


Eric: Haha!! Hey there!! This is a story ambush!!

Alan: Oh dear...

Eric: As interesting and adorable as William's life is, it's BORING!! So I came here with Alan to deliver some news and entertain YOU (Yes that's you the reader) until it's finished!!

Alan: Maybe they WANT to imagine the film.... And you know, this space could be spent writing about the other characters' predicaments!!

Eric: *Ignoring Alan* SO, anyway, here at Death God Station 66.6, we live to entertain!! And so we present to you: FAN QUESTION TIME!!

Alan:...What?

Eric: Thaaat's right! You fans send us your crazy Q's or call us up on 444-444-446 and we'll answer ALL your queries!!

Alan: 44...6?

Eric: Yeah...444 was taken by William and his 'removal service' Pshh...LAME. *Ringring* And it seems we have our first caller!! *Answers* Hello there!

Fan 1: Yeah, Hi! So um...I was like, wondering, umm... Why does Grell have sharp teeth and the rest don't?

Eric: Ahh....(Crap...) Hey, you know what?
Fan 1: ...What...?
Eric: NO IDEA!!! OK, NEXT!

Fan 1: Bu-

Eric: OK! The next one is an email from... Feliks Łukasiewicz (?) in Poland and he says:


"HI, I'm, like, totally a big fan of your show and your radio station and junk, and I was like wondering, do you think Grell would ever consider, like visiting Poland or some junk? 'Cause, like, he seems totally cool and stuff, and...OMG! IS THAT A PINK PONY?!?!

Oh right, yeah, do you think he would and crap?

Poland...PONY~!"


Well, Mr....whatever, I don't see why he wouldn't! He's always keen to explore! Haha...(Are all of these Grell related?) *Ringring* Ah!


Fan 2: Hi! You know William? (OMG So hot!!) Do you know how tall he is?

Eric: Ahh...About 185cm...

Fan 2: OK and umm, what's his weight?

Eric: Ah...I don't know...about average I guess...

Fan 2: Do you know what colour hair he like his girls to have?

Eric: What?! I don't bloody know, I mea-

Alan: Grell...is this you?

Fan 2: Haha...no...DEATH~!! ....oops

Eric: Get off the station Grell...get off now...

Grell: Damn...I LOVE YOU WILL! I'LL BE WAITING FOR YOU IN YOUR ROOM TONIGHT!!

Eric: William, if you're hearing this, I suggest you run. Now.

Alan: O...K, back to the story now!!

Eric: B..But-!


[CRACKLE]


Voiceover: ...Every day, poor William must try to resist the charms of fellow Shinigami, Grell...

William: GET OFF ME DAMN IT!!

Grell: But Will! We're on TV!! Can't you just pretend to like me?!

William: There shouldn't even be cameras here!! IT's the bloody 1800s!!

Grell: Then why are you on here?

William: They promised me a pay rise...


[Ronald: *Doubled over in laughter* This...is...THE FUNNIEST THING EVER!!! XDDD

England: Really? You're normally so afraid of films like this!!

Tony: Hey tea-freak, are you stupid? This is clearly a documentary.

England:...Really?

Tony: Of course. Why else would America be laughing so much?

England:...Well...I...

Ronald: *Wiping tears from eyes* Sorry, this William guy just cracks me up....BWAHAHAHA!!!

England:....I see...Shall we turn it off?

Ronald: No, no, keep it on...It's good material >]


*Film continues...*



*MEANWHILE – At Ciel's house, in Sebastian's room*


Sebastian: *Surrounded by cats* Who's a cute kitty? YOU are!! Yes you are!! Haha!! You all tickle so much ^__^

Ciel: *Knocking on Sebastian's door* Sebastian...? Are you in there?

Sebastian: Uh...

Cat: *MEOW!!!*

Ciel: WHAT was that?

Sebastian: *Struggling to get up under weight of kitties* Just me...I, um...hurt my toe! Yeah...oh, OWWW...

Ciel: Since when did you be able to feel pain...? Get out here now! *starts opening door*

Sebastian: *Slamming door shut* H...Hang on!! *Looks around desperately, sees no point, gives up and opens door quickly, slipping out and slamming it shut behind him* Y...Yes, Bocchan?

Ciel:...Open the door Sebastian.

Sebastian: But...

Ciel: THIS IS AN ORDER!! I DEMAND THAT YOU OPEN THAT DOOR RIGHT NOW!!

Sebastian:....*opens door*

Hundreds of Kitties: MEOOOWWWW!!! =^__^=

Ciel: Holy crap!!

Sebastian: Haha...I told you I didn't want to open it ...



*In the cellar*


America: *Looking up at roof* What the heck is happening up there?!?!

Alois: Oh don't worry about that. That'll just be Sebby's Kitties.

Austria + America:...What?

Alois: Well, the crazy butler dude that lives here is obsessed with kitties. So he often hides them in his room...

America: Wow! This guy's a total nut! HAHAHA!!

Austria: *sigh* How the hell did I end up in this madhouse...? It's like some crazy person has decided to write a weird fanfic about characters getting swapped around or something...

Alois: ...Uh...actually...

America: Hey you guys, be quiet! I think I hear something...

[Sebastian's voice: No! Please, Bocchan!! Just one?! PLEASE?!

Ciel's voice: No Sebastian!! Now go and release them! And hurry back; we still have those weirdoes in the cellar!!

Sebastian's voice: B...but...

Ciel's voice: NO!]

America: Hahaha! These guys are insane!!
Austria: Why do you laugh at everything?

America: It's my way of coping with fear and the internal turmoil that constantly haunts me. I have never forgiven myself for my evil deeds and the laughter is a way of quelling this pain, helping me to forget and carry on as normal...

Austria: R...Really?

America: NO! HAHAHAHA!!!

Austria:...I hate you.



*Out in the streets. Night-time*

Sebastian:....Stupid Bocchan...*placing kitty down* making me get rid of you all...I wish I could just eat his soul and get it over with, but NO, the stupid Manga has to continue, doesn't it? I mean REALLY...how much longer do people want to stare at a stupid brat?

Grell: SEBBY!!!

Sebastian: What-? Oh great.

Grell: Sebas~Chan, darling, look! Will came along!! And he got shorter too!!

Sebastian:...Shorter?

Uryuu: *Very uncomfortable* Hi.

Sebastian:...Hi?

Uryuu: (Now to befriend this guy so it makes William look bad >:])Yeah hi...S....Sebby...

Sebastian + Grell: WHAT?!

Uryuu: I...uh...(crap...) I decided to put our differences aside and become....friends or something...

Sebastian:...OK, what kinda sick twisted prank is this?

Uryuu: Th...There's no prank! I...I decided it would be better t..to work together rather than fight all the time, you know? I...I mean, you're not going to take any souls with Ciel around..I...I worry too much. *Forced smile*

Grell: Wow Will...*To Sebastian* Isn't that nice?!

Sebastian:...Yeah...I...I guess it is!!

Uryuu: So you umm...like cats?

Sebastian: Yeah, but me stupid Bocchan won't let me keep any...

Uryuu: I'll look after one for you! If you want that is...

Sebastian: OMG! Really?!

Uryuu:....Yeah...I guess...?

Sebastian: Aww man William, you're awesome! We should have been friends AGES ago!!

Uryuu: Haha....yeah...


TO BE CONTINUED!!!