Undertaker's Diary Week One

January 9th 1881</u>


Well hello there mister diary, your new owner speaking here! I guess you're wondering why your usual darling whatshisname isn't writing in here, hm? Well I shall tell you why mister diary, it's because he's dead! I was searching through his pockets and I just happened to find you and since he won't be needing you any more, I'll just take you instead~

Let's see now... According to you the guy was a repairman correct? He didn't write much in you... What a shame. Just stupid dates and times... Well no worries, I shall change that~ Shame this is the second day of the week... Now it will start with a blank space... Oh my, how inconvenient.

Ah, and what else did I find in his pockets you ask? Well a number of course! And you will never guess who it belonged to~ Hm? What's that, you give up? Why it was that redhead Sutcliff of course! I have to tell you, I was certainly surprised when he answered! I almost burst out laughing but then I remembered that I had to break the news to him that his (I assume) repairman was dead.  It was quite embarrassing really because I had a pretty serious tone on and when he answered I didn't know what to say! Still, I digress.

Do you want to know how your darling owner died then? Well, it seems there was some sort of accident involving a carriage. The poor guy got messed up pretty bad, but I think I'll be able to piece him together again... His face at least is alright, if you don't count the fact that his eyeballs exploded, which is a real shame because I'm beginning to run out of those... Honestly, I don't know where they get to! Never mind though, I got a few fingernails from him instead. I'll just replace them with some glass or something. Hehe, I just remembered the last time I did that and the shock on the wife of the poor person's face when she picked up the hand one last time just for the nails to fall off~ it was so funny!

Ehehe, I better leave you now my wonderful little new diary, I have work to do you see. I'll try to write in you if I remember though!



January 10th 1881</u>


Grell came round today with the most adorable little bunny I've ever seen! It looks so vulnerable and cute just sitting in his arms that I just HAD to offer some items to make it more comfortable, and I went o get an only hutch that I had from when someone brought me their dead rabbit to stuff. I hope he doesn't notice the smell... Oh well~ Goodness, it was so cute! I want one! Grell said Alan had some, so perhaps I should go and ask... I'll try to smile, although it may just scare him... hehehe~

Oh right, Grell also had some sort of crazy fit when he realised that his repairman was dead, but whatever. I found it quite funny actually and just sat there staring at him and eating my cookies~ A wonderful show it was indeed! He looked on the verge of crying too, which added to the fun. He started asking some stuff about the New Year party – I would tell you about this, but frankly I don't remember that much myself, so I told him to go and ask Ronald while acting all nonchalant like I just didn't want to tell him but really knew – and since I didn't say anything, he just got annoyed again and left. His bunny was cute though. I want one.



January 11th 1881</u>


I didn't get my bunny today. Well, actually I forgot, but it didn't help that I was so busy today! Goodness, five corpses in one day! Something must be going on right? Still, I was glad of the company, it gave me someone to talk to, you know? Because quite frankly, a diary is nowhere near as fun or as chatty as someone lying on a table while you rub them with embalming oil. *sigh* I feel lonely sometimes... I wish I still worked in the offices.



January 12th 1881</u>


No bunny today again. I'll definitely get it tomorrow though, I even phoned Alan and arranged a time to meet up. The kid seemed pretty excited, though I'm not sure why... I am I really that spectacular? He seems to think so.

Someone finally came to collect that repairman – his wife I think. She was all shaky and crying and saying that she'd only just found out he was dead. Seriously, is his company really that unfeeling and uncaring? If it had been me, I would have brought him round to her house in a bag so that she would know rather than fretting about it. When I told her this, she looked like she might get sick on me so I quickly laughed to try and lighten the situation and offered her a cookie... Shame the cookie had some blood on it that must have splattered in, but she didn't have to run screaming. How inconsiderate. She eventually sent her two brothers in to collect him and transport him to a different Undertaker's. Is that even legal?

Again, an unusually large amount of corpses today... Strange.



January 13th 1881</u>


I got my bunny today at last! Aww, she's so cute! A small one called Iris  - at least, I think that's her name. She's running around inbetween the coffins now. I promise to raise her to be a loyal pet that is an expert when it comes to corpses~ I just hope she doesn't end up like that cat I had that one time... Hmm... Oh well! New beginnings right?

Alan's house was quite nice actually, very neat. We had some tea and cookies, with Alan all the while staring at me in awe for some reason. I think I slapped his ass too, but that was just to annoy him because he kept following me around and it was bloody irritating, I tell you. I stayed there a bit longer than I intended actually, but I suppose it was nice to be able to socialise with someone alive for a change... If reapers are classed as alive. Are we alive? I don't know... BUNNY!!



January 14th 1881</u>


Well, well, it turns out Ronald is annoyed at me. I didn't even know! Apparently it was something to do with the party, which he still think I know a lot about for some reason. He phoned me up and was like 'hey jerk! I'm telling that damn psychopath everything that happened at the party of doom, so expect a visit from that freak soon!' then just slammed the phone down... It was something along those lines anyway.

I don't really care that much... I guess I should try to think through the party though. It might explain why I have this huge gaping hole on the top of my head under my hat. To be honest, I just thought it was a headache that just happened to ooze blood, but I suppose there's a possibility it could be related to the party. Maybe I should do something about it actually... as well as the fact that I can twist my elbow around freely lately, but I'm just too busy! No worries, Iris can just have anything that falls out of my head. I've already got her hooked on eyeballs, which is a problem, because as I said, I'm running out. How terribly inconvenient...